Imagine our beautiful singing voices - singing directly to you!
"We wish you a Merry Christmas!
We wish you a Merry Christmas!
We wish you a Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year!!"
Today is a day of celebration, yet it brings a tremendous amount of sadness for me. I woke up in the night to check on Brad, give him some additional pain medication, etc... He came to cuddle for a few minutes in our bed because he has had to sleep on the couch since he had surgery a couple of days ago. He was only able to stay for a few minutes because it was too painful, but I totally broke down. Here we were in the middle of the night, preparing for Santa's arrival to our home and I was crying like a baby.
I was hoping the feeling would be better when I woke up this morning, but as soon as I read Brad's Christmas card to me, the faucet turned back on again. While I tried not to cry today since it's Christmas morning, it was uncontrollable and it triggered for Avery as well. This morning was the first time Avery cried. If anybody was driving past our home at 5:00 this morning because of all the excitement normally associated with Christmas, they would have thought we were a bit out of the ordinary. Avery and I were crying our eyes out and we were all standing in front of the Christmas tree hugging for about 5 minutes.
Last night Avery went to the evening church service with Grandma and Gran. He said he really wanted to spend time with them since he hasn't had much alone time with them lately - this made them very happy! Avery got to light the candles for the service with another little girl named Sara. Avery said she was so cute that he almost gave her his cell phone number but changed his mind because it didn't seem appropriate at church. After church, when Avery came home, he shared that he was really scared and sad about Dad's cancer. Avery hasn't talked much about it and I can now tell that he's beginning to understand some of the things we talked about when Brad was first diagnosed. We want to continue reinforcing with him that it's ok to talk about his feelings and that it's also ok to feel sad and scared. I guess I did a pretty good job expressing that a few hours ago when I was an emotional basket case.
Brad's bandage was removed yesterday and this morning his butterfly bandage came off while we were opening Santa's gifts. The removal revealed about a 3-4 inch incision where the lymph node was removed. Brad doesn't like people looking at at because he's afraid he will gross people out. Brad asked Avery and I yesterday if we were going to be embarrassed to be seen with him once his chemotherapy becomes a visual sign of his illness. I have never been more proud to be seen with such a strong man and I'm confident my pride is about to grow by about a gazillion times. Avery said he didn't care if all the people in the world came together and started talking about the way his Dad looked. Avery went on to say that he would stick up for Dad and help protect him and that he could never be embarrassed. He is such a cool and amazing kid.
On the upside, we're already talking about the "after party" we're going to have when Brad is feeling well. Appropriately, it will be called the "Kicked Ass and Took Chemo" party. Consider yourselves officially invited.
Because it's Christmas (sorry this entry is a bit of a downer), I want to share today's quote from Avery's Fearless calendar. It reads:
Love,
Sandy
"We wish you a Merry Christmas!
We wish you a Merry Christmas!
We wish you a Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year!!"
Today is a day of celebration, yet it brings a tremendous amount of sadness for me. I woke up in the night to check on Brad, give him some additional pain medication, etc... He came to cuddle for a few minutes in our bed because he has had to sleep on the couch since he had surgery a couple of days ago. He was only able to stay for a few minutes because it was too painful, but I totally broke down. Here we were in the middle of the night, preparing for Santa's arrival to our home and I was crying like a baby.
I was hoping the feeling would be better when I woke up this morning, but as soon as I read Brad's Christmas card to me, the faucet turned back on again. While I tried not to cry today since it's Christmas morning, it was uncontrollable and it triggered for Avery as well. This morning was the first time Avery cried. If anybody was driving past our home at 5:00 this morning because of all the excitement normally associated with Christmas, they would have thought we were a bit out of the ordinary. Avery and I were crying our eyes out and we were all standing in front of the Christmas tree hugging for about 5 minutes.
Last night Avery went to the evening church service with Grandma and Gran. He said he really wanted to spend time with them since he hasn't had much alone time with them lately - this made them very happy! Avery got to light the candles for the service with another little girl named Sara. Avery said she was so cute that he almost gave her his cell phone number but changed his mind because it didn't seem appropriate at church. After church, when Avery came home, he shared that he was really scared and sad about Dad's cancer. Avery hasn't talked much about it and I can now tell that he's beginning to understand some of the things we talked about when Brad was first diagnosed. We want to continue reinforcing with him that it's ok to talk about his feelings and that it's also ok to feel sad and scared. I guess I did a pretty good job expressing that a few hours ago when I was an emotional basket case.
Brad's bandage was removed yesterday and this morning his butterfly bandage came off while we were opening Santa's gifts. The removal revealed about a 3-4 inch incision where the lymph node was removed. Brad doesn't like people looking at at because he's afraid he will gross people out. Brad asked Avery and I yesterday if we were going to be embarrassed to be seen with him once his chemotherapy becomes a visual sign of his illness. I have never been more proud to be seen with such a strong man and I'm confident my pride is about to grow by about a gazillion times. Avery said he didn't care if all the people in the world came together and started talking about the way his Dad looked. Avery went on to say that he would stick up for Dad and help protect him and that he could never be embarrassed. He is such a cool and amazing kid.
On the upside, we're already talking about the "after party" we're going to have when Brad is feeling well. Appropriately, it will be called the "Kicked Ass and Took Chemo" party. Consider yourselves officially invited.
Because it's Christmas (sorry this entry is a bit of a downer), I want to share today's quote from Avery's Fearless calendar. It reads:
December 25This calendar may be one of the best gifts I got, I mean Avery got this year. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. Merry, merry Christmas to each of you.
"There's a stampede of fear out there. Let's not get caught in it. Let's be among those who stay calm."
Love,
Sandy
1 comment:
Tell Mr. Avery how much I love him! Tell Brad we are all here for him adn we will all stand up to anyone for him. AND, tell yourself how beautiful and brave you are my wonderful friend. I adore you all.
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