Tuesday, December 22, 2009

It's In My Belly...


Once again I have been awake for the past two hours. Since I'm not sleeping, I figured the quiet time would be a great opportunity to update you all. I mean really, laying in bed listening to one of our dogs snore, while Brad whimpers in his sleep and my mind races, isn't all that productive.

So we found out last night that Brad's cancer is in his stomach. Dr. Harter told Brad that the PET scan revealed multiple lymph nodes in his abdomen, which is not unusual for lymphoma. Dr. Harter went on to say the the high number of lymph nodes that are present is a concern, however, he still predicts Brad's prognosis to be positive. At this point, the stage and type of cancer that Brad has is still not available - that will be determined by the more thorough biopsy being done from the lymph node being removed tomorrow. Yep, Brad's friend BOB (Big Ole' Bump), as pictured above, will no longer be part of our lives.

Ahhhh - so maybe this helps explain the mysterious lump that comes and goes in Brad's belly?! While we are a bit nervous that many lymph nodes were found, we were REALLY relieved by Dr. Harter's update. Strangely enough, we were anticipating that the cancer would be located in Brad's chest or brain because of some other "symptoms" that have been exhibited (i.e. perpetual headaches, constant phlegm and clearing of the throat necessary, etc...).

Mentally, Brad is exhausted (which I worry will affect him physically) and I see it in all that he does and the look in his eyes. Last night, although he was relieved, he did tell me his eyes want to cry, but that his body is incapable of producing tears. As silly as this sounds, Brad has told me this on several other occasions. I'm confident that at some point he will let his guard down and have a good ole' fashion sobbing session, but it will take a lot for this to happen.

Tomorrow is a really big day and one I anticipate will be full of emotion not only for Brad, but for his parents and I as we wait for him at the surgical center. Although the out-patient surgery will only take an hour to complete, Brad will be completely anesthetized and will spend 3-4 hours in recovery. We can see him after 2 hours in recovery and if all goes well, he'll be home resting by late tomorrow afternoon. The funny side story to this is that when I was explaining to Avery that dad would be anesthetized or "put under" while they did surgery so that he couldn't feel what was happening, Avery responded, "I'm so glad he's not a dog or he would be dead." LOL, out of the mouths of babes come the funniest things.

I really want to thank each of you. We have received more support during the past week than we ever could have imagined. The assistance is all very, very humbling and also to some extent a small stress in our lives. Brad and I are on extremely different pages, perhaps in a different book from one another, in this regard. He has expressed concern that he feels like he is being "babied" and that people are now starting to go easy on him because of his diagnosis. I on the other hand, as somebody who likes the act of "doing" for others when possible, understand the comfort that our friends and family members feel by performing their acts of kindness for us.

Whether it be the cards and letters of support arriving on a daily basis, meals being prepared by some of my wonderful co-workers from the Y and delivered by some of our closest friends Chad and Cathy, regular phone call check-ups from many and accompaniment to each of Brad's Dr. visits/tests/procedures from mom and dad, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you.

One thing we really recognize in all of this is that we are so very, very fortunate. We have so many gifts to be thankful for and a solid marital foundation to deal with whatever is coming our way. If this is a journey we must travel, I'm so glad we have each of you by our side. As was received in a letter from one of my student Program Leaders yesterday, everything happens for a reason (thanks Justin!). I too, am a firm believer that while we may not know our destination, we're never given more than we can handle, although it may feel like it at times. Our chins are up - keep those positive thoughts and prayers coming!

Love,
Sandy

p.s. I'm sure you're curious about why we may have chosen lime green as the back drop color to our blog? While I want to confirm it with our Dr., it seems as though lime green is the ribbon color associated with lymphoma support. We are definitely celebrating a greener Christmas in our home this year!

1 comment:

Jilladair said...

I love you all so much and am so excited to come visit! I love that you have decided to blog about this! It is a great way to keep us all up to date and to not exhaust yourself with repeating everything 445 times!! You write so well Miss Sandabear! I adore you crazy Wirts!!